This painting was created after I had brain surgery in the beginning of 2009 for epilepsy. It’s a simple, but complicated story of my road to recovery during 2009.
Epilepsy is seen as these little sparks within the brain that cause a seizure, unfortunately mine became uncontrollable; therefore the surgery was the only option.
I was always very scared to draw, as I felt that the simple act of drawing would bring on aura's, which are the signs that a seizure is coming.
And this was the first painting after my experience of brain surgery!
The lighting in the desert symbolizes my aura:
This is the space within me...where I feel completely alone and terrified. The feeling of being very separate on what’s going on around you. And the lighting, symbolizes the shock that triggers the seizure.
The tablets: symbolizes the constant day to day routine of taking medication, in order to keep the seizures away, Even though it doesn't help at times.
Kidney bowl: After having the surgery and also after having a seizure...I feel completely weak and filled with sick! And the feeling of just feeling alone and ill.
Scalpels: Symbolize the need for surgery! The scar that you are left with.
As a whole this painting means that, at the end of the day. You go down a road of recovery where, hope, faith and acceptance maybe exists. You are putting your trust within this painting. I followed the unknown. Hoping for a better future.
The betadine shampoo comes from my surgery, which I had to clean my head with, where five scars sit. The beauty of the painting is the fact after it’s painted, it slowly starts to fade away...it starts to heal itself, symbolizing that 'Road to Recovery'...
The same way my scars started to disappear and my hair started to grow back.
And the same ways I started to draw again and began the process of letting my fear of painting disappear......