The molecular theory of bicycles .
To the layman this particular theory appears both tantalising and sinister.
Basically it states that since the molecules on or near the surface of any object
are constantly changing places with the molecules on or near the surface of any object close to it , objects we spend a lot of time with can become a measurable percentage of ourselves , and visa versa . This is especially true with bicycles and people.A common symptom of this can be seen when the owner of said bicycle takes to leaning against a wall sideways , resting on one elbow.
In de Selby's day , a certain Sergeant in the police force in a village outside Dublin took it upon himself to solve this problem by kidnapping and temporarily imprisoning bicycles which had absorbed dangerously high percentages of "human molecules" .
This was " For the public good , and only until it wears off " according to the sergeant.